Are You Serious?

Why is it that every year when I'm supposed to be buying my :ahem: "loved ones" christmas presents, I'm bombarded with an onslaught of goodness for myself?

Take these absolute bonkers Patta x Nike Sportswear Tier Zero release Air Max 1's for example:
1. Woven canvas upper
2. Ballistic nylon under
3. Coated metal eyelets
4. Gum Sole
5. All black upper with white midsole and swoosh

Or this Bounty Hunter Cataru Kun vinyl collectible figure that i stole on Ebay for only $46!