First part
Picture this...
Extremely rainy day, it's 1995 or 96 i don't remember. I'm a sophomore in high school, but this isn't a math question so don't bust out the calculator. We're supposed to be taking our final exams but I'm in wood shop class so it's pretty much free for all day. And everyone knows what that means . . . yes, you guessed it: Table Saw Baseball!
"What's Table Saw Baseball, Jesse?"
Imagine a table saw, like the one pictured below.
And now imagine this coming at you full speed (smaller, of course)
My fellow punk rock appreciator, Efrain and I would drop small 2 or 3 inch wood chips onto the table saw while the other one of us would stand waiting with a long piece of wood (the bat). As you guessed it, we didn't connect on too many pitches. Which is entirely why we continued to play this game. And yes, i know you're wondering, "How often did you get hit?" . . . all the damn time! that's what made it fun; laughing at the guy u just nailed with a 40 mile an hour fastball of wood.
So there i was, up to bat. Full count, bases loaded. Efrain winds up: BOOM! power outage. Some dude outside lost control of his car and ran it into the electrical box that supplied power to the school.
Everyone goes ape shit and runs out of their classes.
[Queue in story line number two]
My best buddy Mike Frazier lived about 10 miles away from school and rode his bike to and from school every day. Yeah, i know, "10 miles!". I understand you got dropped off by your mommy, but Frazier didn't roll like that. Dude was/is legit. He didn't use "I'm too tired" as an excuse for anything, ever and rarely ever got mad at anything.
So dude gears up his oversized rain jacket for the journey to school that stormy morning. Pedals away and treks it all the way to school. About a block away from school, Frazier approaches a green light. No cars coming, he doesn't slow down, gets out in the intersection. Apparently dude making a right turn doesn't notice him and turns RIGHT into him. Frazier's alright though, cause remember, this dude is made of steel. Business Suit Steve gets out of the car to see if Frazier's hurt. But naturally Frazier just shrugs it off, tosses his bike over his shoulder and hoofs it the rest of the way. Rain still pouring down, drenching him completely head to toe.
Now both of your Twix bars come face to face . . . this is the part of the story where everything is on the same page. Both stories are about to collide.
The school is complete chaos. There's kids running everywhere, chocolate milk lady made a killing that day pedaling 25 cent sugary goodness cartons to the entire campus. Hell, what else were we going to do? They wouldn't let us leave. So, we're sitting there in the huge wide open cafeteria just shooting the shit with 2,000 other aimlessly wandering students when across the room is see what appears to be the grim reaper. But no, this is real life, so it's just Frazier with his drenched oversized coat dripping off his body. He looks puzzled, has no idea what's going on. He's expecting to have class in a few minutes. Just as he approaches me and I'm about to say what's up and gab about which porn i watched the night before, the principal jumps on the overhead. Everyone is silent. The following is heard:
"Due to the unexpected power outage, the remainder of the school day has been cancelled. You are all free to go home."
Keep in mind, Frazier had just biked to school in the pouring rain for 10 miles, got hit by a car, hoofed it an extra mile or so and is now standing at a school he doesn't even need to be at.
Remember, Frazier never really got mad, ever. WRONG! He fucking lost it. I'm standing there, two feet away from him and god do i wish i wasn't. Frazier lays into a verbal assault on anyone within earshot.
"WHAT THE FUCK MAN! FUCK THIS! FUCK YOU! FUCK ME!" he points to the speaker in the corner of the room "FUCK YOU!"
he tries taking off his jacket and throwing it, but it's soaking wet and gets stuck on the cuff of his hand. So the jacket is swinging around throwing water on everyone, flapping in the air, smacking people in the face. I'm standing there laughing my ass off.
I clearly, will never forget that day.
Here's the man, the myth, the legend himself:
NOTE: Frazier doesn't use a computer he's too much of a bad ass for these boxes of electric fun.
so this picture is very old, so old in fact that it was taking around the time of this exact story.
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