Must Have: T-Shirt with Glasses Cleaner

I swear, if a finger even comes near my glasses I can't see out of the fuckers anymore. Trying to watch the game at a bar, eating peanuts, oh my face itches, scratch, wait who just scored? All I see is squiggly fingerprint lines. And I don't dare clean my glasses, because that stupid little four inch black glorified kleenex square is at home.

BUT, if I had this $90 shirt from Japanese clothier fift I'd be set.

Hmm, I wonder what cycle I'd have to wash it on?