Video Dissection Time

Here's a video of a drunk guy trying to buy beer. Sounds simple enough right? Then why is the clip 4 minutes long? Turns out it's not as easy as it sounds. Let's dissect this intended transaction now:

Video Intro: yeah sucks, I hate that certain websites (ahem Break.com ahem) try to milk profits by FORCING advertisements on you.

:00 - :39 just establishes him entering the store, then freezes and almost makes you not want to watch the rest. probably could've done without the whole 40 seconds to be honest.

:40 - :50 now we're talking! Dude can barely stand on his own and employs the pelvic forward/shoulder back method of balance. Which, history has proven, is possibly the worst mechanics for gaining balance ever.

:51 - 1:10 Door swinging outward catching our subject off guard and swings him around. He probably thought the handle was purely for aesthetic purposes only. As absolutely pissed drunk as he is, He knew the EXACT door the Budweiser was behind. He can barely stand, doesn't know his own name or the country he's in, but I'll be damned if he doesn't know how to locate the Budweiser.

1:11 - 1:22 Ahh transaction almost complete, now if he can just get to the counter....

1:23 - 2:56 Man down, man down! I repeat, Man down! Here comes the hard part, that pelvic forward/shoulder back method has proven unreliable and his altered depth perception makes the fridge door handle appear closer than it actually is. Just keep grabbing for it champ, you're almost there. Sitting up is harder than it looks, and even harder when you refuse to let go of your case of beer. And even harder than that when invisible forces seem to be pushing you down at your every effort to stand again.

2:57 - 3:15 Beef Jerky time!! The store owner "conveniently" happens to be stocking huge bags of beef jerky in the aisle next to our subject. He peers over to see what happened to the guy who came in 4 minutes ago (in real time if you notice the timer on the screen) and has since disappeared.

3:16 - 3:24 Let's have a look see. The store owner and patrons decide the guy needs to leave.

3:25 - 3:37 Wait, there's some missing in this shot. What happened to the Budweiser? No, no, no! What do you mean you're not going to let him buy the beer? Are you kidding me? He worked his ass off, literally, to get that case of Bud.

3:38 - 3:50 "Alright, alright, you guys got me. I'm just gonna be leaving now, never mind me....but let me just grab this bowl of individually wrapped tiny cups of non dairy creamerrrrr, aaaahh" :SLAM:

3:51 - 4:01 "Ok, ok, this isn't my brand of creamer so I'm going to just.. put.. this.. bowl.. right.. back.. up.. there"