I don't really drink Jager very much anymore. Mainly because it always made me do really idiotic things like punch brick walls and start fights with immovable objects. Jager has that sort of power on me. If my life read as a timeline, 2005-2007 would be the "Jager Years".
During these "Jager Years", Bryan and I saw a Jagermeister Dispenser in some sort of loser's catalog. We were so impressed with it that we wanted to purchase it immediately. Thankfully our procrastination and lack of execution got the better of us and we didn't waste our money on that nonsense. Cause realistically, the shortest distance from a Jager bottle to the inside lining of my stomach is NOT through some sort of dispensing contraption. Who really wants to waste time hooking a bottle up to a pouring device when you can just pop the cap and chug it straight down?
Now in 2009, the designing minds at Jagermeister have stepped up their dispensing game. Screw a "stay at home" dispenser, they now have a PORTABLE dispenser in the form of an ice chest/cooler. The birthday parties in the park will no longer be dull and uneventful. Whacking your nieces piñata just got that much more exciting. But unfortunately, your creepy uncle that likes to hug everyone, well he just got that much more creepier too. If you thought christmas at your aunts house last year was weird, wait til you're playing drunken horseshoes with your cousins and your little nephew take one to the side of the face. Here's another game you can play; try keeping the Jager away from your cousin that just got out of jail last month.